Now, now. While I couldn't fanthom why, you'd visit lit' old me's resting place.
But since you are already here, it would be unbecoming of me to turn you away...
Well, not like I can offer you anything for reaching this place, however, at least right now anyhow.

My handle is Tom Hackers and that's about it.
I'm a private person, and I'd rather my future been less intersting, than it is now.